Blog
"Reframing Safety and Connection: Reflections on Cathi Spooner’s Attachment-Based Play Therapy"
On October 27, 2025, I attended an evening lecture with Cathi Spooner, hosted by Dr. Hughes-Brand for her Play Therapy course. I took this course last semester and was invited to join the guest lecture, which Dr. Hughes-Brand opens to former students interested in continuing to learn about attachment-based approaches. As I continue to refine my clinical orientation at my practicum site, I’ve been exploring how attachment frameworks translate into structured, trauma-informed interventions that align with the relational work I do with children and caregivers. Spooner’s model of Attachment-Based Play Therapy offered both theoretical grounding and concrete application.
Why I Attended
At my practicum, I often work with families navigating separation, foster care, and court-mandated visitation—contexts where safety and trust are uncertain. I was drawn to Spooner’s integration of neuroscience, family systems, and play into a practical framework. She described play as the child’s natural language and emphasized parents as the therapeutic agents of change. Her framing aligned with how I approach family work: supporting caregivers in shifting from behavioral control toward relational safety.
Learning Highlights
Spooner outlined four stages of Attachment-Focused Family Play Therapy:
Observational Assessment: Using low-stress, high-engagement activities to observe relational patterns while testing hypotheses about family dynamics.
Safety and Engagement: Building trust, co-regulation, and emotional vocabulary through playful experiences that emphasize shared enjoyment.
Realignment: The “ouchy” stage, where families confront and shift entrenched patterns, practicing new skills for regulation, repair, and communication.
Attunement and Termination: Reinforcing gains, empowering parents to lead, and processing the grief that naturally accompanies therapeutic endings.
Her statement that “nothing is going to happen until they feel safe” made the focus clear: safety has to be reliable before anything else can take shape.
My Questions and Takeaways
I asked Spooner about gaining buy-in from children who resist interacting with parents. She shared that she normalizes this fear by introducing clear guidelines, often using a “therapy-as-Vegas” rule: what’s said in therapy stays in therapy. This helps children trust the process and gives parents structure for accountability.
When I asked about selecting activities across developmental levels, especially in child welfare settings where parents often lack play experience, she emphasized collaboration and simplicity. Play doesn’t have to be elaborate; bubbles, coloring, or sandtray can anchor safety before insight work begins.
Finally, I asked about discipline during sessions with physical or verbal aggression. Spooner clarified that maintaining safety and co-regulation takes precedence. The therapist’s role is to observe, guide, and model emotional containment rather than impose discipline. This distinction aligned with what I often see in practice, where creating safety matters more than managing behavior.
Reflection
Spooner linked attachment repair to neurobiological regulation in a clear, practical way. Her focus on predictability and calm showed that safety requires deliberate attention. Families rarely feel it right away, even in supportive settings. She provided practical examples that clarified the process. I’m thankful to Dr. Hughes-Brand for creating space for past students to continue learning through these events.